So, Jason Collins, a center on the Washington Wizards NBA team, came out and said he is gay a few days ago.
Already critics have jumped on the bandwagon-- Chris Broussard, an ESPN commentator, said that Jason was "walking in disobedience to God", even though Jason said he was raised in a Christian household and did not take the decision to come out lightly.
Today, I read that a church in Wisconsin cancelled a speech by Leroy Butler, a former Green Bay Packers safety, because he sent Jason Collins a congratulatory tweet.
Then, TMZ wants to jump in with an interview with his former fiance, who he 'dumped' back in 2009 before they hit the wedding altar, but she never knew why they broke up until last week, when he called her to tell her before he made his public announcement.
So the media are having a field day while tons of people are saying that it was wrong for Jason Collins to come out of the closet.
And to that, I say this is precisely why it was good that Jason Collins came out of the closet right in front of the watchful eyes of millions of people.
Until Jason Collins came out of the closet, very few of us knew of his sexuality. He was just another gay man living in the closet, hiding the fact that what we saw when we watched him play was not the REAL Jason Collins.
Although I am not certain, Jason could have been 'on the down low', dating women and acting like his heterosexual teammates. It is not uncommon for gay men to try dating women, just to try to fit in with the mainstream and hide their true sexuality. There is a lot of pressure, from both family and society in general, to do this: parents and grandparents often come across with expectations of children or grandchildren, as 'proof' that they 'raised their children right'; best friends want to know that those they grew up with are successful in their endeavors, because they can then claim their input contributed to said success of friends; teachers, preachers, community leaders all want to see their charges succeed for the same reason...
But at what price?
At what price should a gay man or woman have to fit in with heterosexuals? How can any heterosexual understand the level of pressure a gay man or woman feels to conform with expectations that he/she deny their basic, innermost feelings just to conform to expectations that will never be met? At what price should a practicing Christian have to deny himself the right to love the person of their choice, just because misguided churchgoers say that their love is 'unnatural', or in 'disobedience', or 'a sin'?
I loved my parents, but knowing that I, a gay man, will never be able to father a child-- something I have known since I was thirteen-- was a sad truth that I bore in secrecy for decades. Even when I came out to my mother, I was astounded to find out that she had harbored hopes that I may one day bring home some woman to introduce to her as my girlfriend-- after decades of never making such a move in the past, it shocked me to think that she was so far in denial. And after becoming a 'born again' Christian at the age of 38-- me, a gay man being accepted by God as I am -- I began seeking fellowship with other Christians like me and went to church in hopes of sharing the testimony that God DOES love gay people, only to be told repeatedly that "God would do a good work in me", which meant that I was wrong, that in the eyes of the parish, they expected God to convert me into something I was never meant to be-- i.e., heterosexual-- because, you know, gays fly in the the face of all that is good and Christian and holy, and they could not be a good Christian and accept as I am.
So, I know what it is like for Jason Collins to have to brave the backlash from the audience, albeit the backlash he will face will be on a much grander scale. I know what it is like to face the fear of rejection, but to stand firm and state "I will not live a lie-- no more." I know what it is like to feel the chains come off, to accept oneself, and stop trying to pretend to be someone you're not. And so I fully support Jason and wish him all the best in his future endeavors.
The world may not be 'ready' to hear someone come out on prime time TV. Tough! Gay people are not going anywhere, no matter how many times a politician says gays should be rounded up into concentration camps, no matter how many times a church leader says the 'gay lifestyle' leads to eternal damnation, no matter how many friends or family members feel disappointed or confused, no matter how many times a person says "Ewww!" to two men kissing or holding hands in public.
So, Jason and I are in the same boat. And neither one of us, nor millions of other gay men and women like us, are about to change who we are just to meet the impossible expectations of the majority. So, deal with it the best you can. But I'll tell you right now, treating me like the people above treated Jason Collins will not work at all.
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